Posts Tagged ‘Donald Glover’

I WILL USE IT

My heart has been broken so many times I can’t find all the pieces anymore to put it back together. So I will stretch what I have, once again to put it back together. Ahh the story of most Wives, Moms, girlfriends, I guess girls in general. In the words of Sheryl Crowe “I Can’t Cry Anymore” but… I will. I’m not ranting, I’m venting. Just smile and nod, sweep it all under the rug and hope the floor doesn’t fall out! The joy of bottling things up. Hey, it’s worked so far… Sometimes I drive down a road lined with trees, roll all the windows down and scream at the top of my lungs. Then I breathe in all the fresh tree air. Gets a lot out and some fresh air in. Hey, it works for me! One time, a long time ago, I wrote down everything I wanted to get out of my head and life forever. I put it in a bottle, corked it and threw it out into the ocean. I let those things go forever!

I can’t believe I can’t get steroids anymore! There have been times I’ve come home from getting steroids and jumped on the coffee table and ran around the house like I’ve never had MS. That is why I so believe the treatment is going to work! It will be like finally taking the wet jeans off! The rest is up to me. One time over Christmas things were hectic here and then we left for a week to S.C.  My Doctor put me on 2 weeks of steroid pills.  It was an awesome 2 weeks! I had energy everyday. Matt and I Christmas shopped like there was nothing wrong with me. It was so awesome. I’m crying just remembering! You just don’t understand what it’s like being exhausted just standing! It sucks! I keep saying to myself that after this treatment it can always  be this way. If I have the ability again-I WILL USE IT!

Driving down the road and seeing a shop I would like to go into. Stop and go in. No, I have to think I probably won’t be able to  1. Park and walk into the store.  2. Do they have carts I can push?  3. Getting around the store and not falling over or knocking things over? (it is rare, but this Could happen?)  4. And although I know it sounds stupid, but dealing with the looks and the pity…..   The girl that was here first wants to scream “I can do it! I don’t need any help!” But the truth of the matter is I might not be able and I might need help. Hence, I rarely go to places out of my comfort zone by myself.

This is very depressing to write and probably to read. I just walked into the living room and the Comedian Donald Glover was on the t.v. I started cracking up! Thanks Donald Glover, you made me laugh out loud.

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